The Twitter Creep Test

Twitter Creep Test

Most creeps know, deep down, that they’re creeps. Even if we weren’t aware of that before the rise of Web 2.0, we certainly are now. On Twitter – one of the Internet’s most conducive platforms for questionable conduct – we can see the creep at work, and a defining facet of his behaviour is a constant quest to hide his activities from the wider world. A creep wants his lascivious and suggestive fawning and/or propositioning to be private, but women won’t talk to him in private, so he airs all of his embarrassing virtual laundry in public.

The creep’s constant desire to brush sand over his tracks, and limit the visibility of his behaviour, often makes his actions look furtive and highly suspicious, and that renders him more creepy still.

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A creep is usually either so lacking in empathy that he won’t realise a woman doesn’t want him around her, or else he doesn’t really care what she wants and proceeds regardless – often, in any case, believing he can change her mind.

Creeps will frequently fail to observe obvious rejection bases, such as huge age, status or popularity differences, or a complete lack of common interest. Creeps also typically fail to recognise that in order to be of interest to women, they actually have to offer value as a personality and have something going for them in terms of achievement or drive/ambition. Creeps offer nothing but their own sense of entitlement. They’re just like:

“Hey! I exist! Women should automatically think I’m a great guy!”

Being a creep is, in the end, about the discomfort other people feel when encountering elements of weird or creepy behaviour. It’s often said that the only differences between a creep and a prime catch are good looks and money, but that’s not really the case. Yes, good-looking and very wealthy men can get away with behaviour that less attractive, less wealthy men can’t – but that’s the point. It’s about recognising what you can and can’t get away with. Recognising and respecting what other people feel and think, and making sure you’re not forcing unwanted attention onto anyone. This is the REAL difference between a creep and a regular guy. A regular guy knows where he’s not welcome, and he respects that barrier.

But whilst creeps are essentially aware that they’re creeps (in many cases not least because people have actually told them so), they’ll likely be in denial. They persuade themselves that the problem is not them – it’s everyone else, and this self-persuasion can result in a state of confusion. “Am I a Twitter creep? Am I not? What’s the situation?“…

Well, wonder no longer, for if you are male, and you’re on Twitter, you can now assess your own quota of creepiness with this Twitter Creep Test. Remember, for this to work, you must answer all questions honestly. If you lie to yourself, and you’re a creep, you’re probably going to remain one for the rest of your life. Being honest is the first step towards recovery…

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  1. Whilst on Twitter, have you ever found yourself reassuring a female to whom you’re a stranger, that you’re a nice guy?
  2. Do you make, or have you made suggestive or sexually-themed comments to women who don’t know you?
  3. Have you ever used a picture of someone else for your Twitter profile avi and claimed it’s a picture of you?
  4. Have you ever used an anonymous Twitter account to tweet chat-up lines to a female?
  5. Do you fear your boss, work colleagues or family finding your Twitter account?
  6. Have you ever wanted to hide your communications with females to whom you’re a stranger, or has it ever made you uncomfortable that third parties could/can see your interactions?
  7. Do the majority of your tweets/DMs to women on Twitter fail to get a reply?
  8. Has anyone on Twitter (female or male) ever called you a weirdo or a creep?
  9. Is the primary goal of your Twitter use to establish romantic or sexual contact with one or more females to whom you’re a stranger?
  10. Have you ever been surprised or felt aggrieved that female strangers on Twitter don’t trust you? Or have you ever tried to persuade a woman you’ve approached on Twitter to trust you more?
  11. Would you be comfortable approaching a female for a chat on Twitter if you knew she was from a younger generation than yourself?
  12. Have you deleted a significant proportion of the public messages you’ve sent to women on Twitter?
  13. Do the women you approach on Twitter sometimes suggest you pay to chat to them?
  14. Have you ever been blocked by a female on Twitter for paying her unwanted attention?
  15. Do you issue physically-focused compliments to multiple females you don’t know personally in the course of a single day?
  16. Is the range of people you message on Twitter more than 70% composed of females you find sexually attractive, and whom you don’t know in the offline world?
  17. Have you ever considered the advanced stages of a relationship (such as starting a family) with a female who doesn’t know you, and revealed those thoughts to the woman in question?
  18. Does a lack of interest from women who don’t know you personally sometimes annoy you?
  19. Do you regularly protect and unprotect your Twitter account?
  20. If you message chat to a woman online, and she does not respond in any way, will you message her again?

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Important note: You should read ALL of the information below, regardless of your answers to the questions.

You didn’t answer “Yes” to any questions… You are not a Twitter creep.

You answered “Yes” to between 1 and 5 questions… Some women will see you as a creep, but your behaviour is probably just misguided and you need to pay a bit more attention to controlling it. Some of the questions, in isolation, really don’t mark out a guy as a creep in themselves. It’s a compound thing, and of course the amount of concern you should have depends on which questions you answered “Yes” to.

Scores of 4 or 5 “Yes” answers would be of more concern in an older man than a younger guy, as these transgressions (and each “Yes” should be considered a transgression) should become more obvious with life experience. Plus, the attentions of older men are more likely to creep younger women out.

You answered “Yes” to between 6 and 10 questions… You are in confirmed creep territory. But this could still be reversible. Don’t let the impersonality of the Internet persuade you that things which would not be okay in the offline world, are okay on a social networking site. It’s all just one public place. If your behaviour would raise frowns from bystanders in a hotel foyer, it’s going to characterise you as a creep on Twitter. Remember, Twitter is not a dating site, so you’re contravening people’s expectations (and thus, often, their comfort) if you lapse into treating it as such.

You answered “Yes” to between 11 and 15 questions… You have a very pronounced misinterpretation of what is and is not welcome or acceptable. You don’t respect women, you almost certainly objectify them, and it should be blatantly obvious to you why they’re not interested. Take a long reality check, and then exercise the self-discipline you’re currently lacking.

You answered “Yes” to between 16 and 19 questions… You need to snap out of your fantasy world immediately. The women you’re approaching do not think you’re a great guy, and the problem is not them – it is definitely you. Most women would not want to go near you without a police escort. You’re an online predator. Stop being so selfish and go and do something useful with your time.

You answered “Yes” to all questions… Dude; seriously… Get a grip! You are probably considerably beyond the territory of mere “creep”, and well on your way towards hiding in bushes and appearing on some sort of stalking register. You clearly ignore all signs that women do not want your attention and you persist regardless. If you could see yourself the way other people see you, you would be truly, truly horrified.