Communications and Contact

In the event that you experience an irresistible compulsion to contact Twirpz and express your meaningless, unwelcome opinion about something, you are advised to use the form on this page.

Twirpz is not remotely interested in hearing your weird thoughts, your sycophantic verbal vomit, your knackering enquiries, or your petty, whining criticisms, and does not care what you do or don’t want to see on the site. Accordingly, your contact will invariably be ignored to the fullest extent allowed by law. And since there is not yet any law against ignoring worthless email, the level of ignorance you will encounter when contacting Twirpz is expected to be somewhere in the region of 100%.

You may, alternatively, wish to look up Twirpz on Twitter, where you will find a particularly half-soaked social media campaign, run by someone who clearly can’t be bothered.

Twirpz very much looks forward to ignoring your communication soon.