Tag Archives: Twirpz

How to Like Holy Lord God on the Internet

Jesus H Christ
Messiah

Dad, would you be interested in having a Like button?

God
Almighty Ruler

What would be the point of that?

Jesus H Christ
Messiah

So people can like you.

God
Almighty Ruler

People already do like me… They send me prayers.

Jesus H Christ
Messiah

Only when they want something. And someone… I can’t say who… But someone says we’ve moved on, and praying takes too long for people in the modern world, and that’s why they only do it when they’re massively overdrawn… I mean, it’s not that fewer people want to like you; it’s just that they haven’t got time… But if we could just make a sort of ‘Like God‘ button that people could press on their phones, they’d like you a lot more… Well, that’s what this person says anyway… But I can’t tell you who said it…

Continue reading How to Like Holy Lord God on the Internet

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Penis Recognition Software Says Cheating Men’s Manhood SHRINKS

JACK SMART (Guest Writer):
As one of Europe’s premier private investigators, I’m approached by a lot of very beautiful women. I typically end up taking them to dinner, naturally. And as I stare attentively across the table into each lady’s eyes, I get an almost telepathic sense of what she’s going to say. She gazes back through the candle light with that tell-tale look, and I listen hard, just beneath the soft music, for her tentative, nervous whisper… Continue reading Penis Recognition Software Says Cheating Men’s Manhood SHRINKS

How to Host a Tantric Webinar With Windows 3.1

VICTORIA DRUGGS (Guest Writer):
Ordinarily, tantric events are held on Canadian ranches at a cost of $2,575 per head, and organised by permanently cross-legged, greying herbalists who drink, and forcibly serve, nettle tea. But what happens if you want the tantric ecstasy without having to empty your PayPal or drink the juice of poisonous leaves at swordpoint?

Well, why not try hosting your own tantric webinar, FOR FREE?! That’s right! You really can use ye wondrous Internet to connect with like-minded tantroids and fulfil your innermost desires. Let’s start at the beginning… Continue reading How to Host a Tantric Webinar With Windows 3.1

Babestation Does Not Exist

Babestation Does Not Exist

Five days ago, a bizarre new page appeared on Wikipedia. A page suggesting that, according to a growing group of researchers and radical thinkers, the televisual adult entertainment phenomenon Babestation (link NSFW), does not exist.

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How To Make Big Money Online Doing Literally No Work

get-rich-quick-cheque

You know it’s nothing more than a gateway to disaster, but you’re going to read it anyway. That’s why “Make Money Online!” articles are still a major battleground on the search engines.

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Hot King Lycra Promises Hottest Ever Performance!

Hot King Lycra Live March 2016

Grant Greenstripe (Talent Agent):
Fans of the new sensation in the underbelly of the UK music scene can still get their hands on the last few precious tickets to see Hot King Lycra live tonight. Now tipped to be the biggest seller in popular music since Elvis and The Beatles, Hot King Lycra has said of tonight’s performance…

“You will never have seen anything like this before. In two momentous, game-changing hours, I am going to revolutionise the face of popular music. ”

Does that sound like something you’d want to miss? Continue reading Hot King Lycra Promises Hottest Ever Performance!

Lecture: How To Find a Lost Train

Birmingham Railway Museum

by Jack Smart…
Private Investigator
As you probably know, I am presenting a lecture tomorrow evening on the subject of how to find a lost train. At the behest of the Administrator of this blog, who is one of the organisers of the event, I have also agreed to take questions from a sole trader who has lost a shop.

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