Tag Archives: Twirpz

How to Like Holy Lord God on the Internet

Worcester Cathedral by Night

Jesus H Christ
Messiah

Dad, would you be interested in having a Like button?

God
Almighty Ruler

What would be the point of that?

Jesus H Christ
Messiah

So people can like you.

God
Almighty Ruler

People already do like me… They send me prayers.

Jesus H Christ
Messiah

Only when they want something. And someone… I can’t say who… But someone says we’ve moved on, and praying takes too long for people in the modern world, and that’s why they only do it when they’re massively overdrawn… I mean, it’s not that fewer people want to like you; it’s just that they haven’t got time… But if we could just make a sort of ‘Like God‘ button that people could press on their phones, they’d like you a lot more… Well, that’s what this person says anyway… But I can’t tell you who said it…

Continue reading How to Like Holy Lord God on the Internet

Penis Recognition Software Says Cheating Men’s Manhood SHRINKS

Stopcock Penis Recognition

JACK SMART:
As one of Europe’s premier private investigators, I’m approached by a lot of very beautiful women. I typically end up taking them to dinner, naturally. And as I stare attentively across the table into each lady’s eyes, I get an almost telepathic sense of what she’s going to say. She gazes back through the candle light with that tell-tale look, and I listen hard, just beneath the soft music, for her tentative, nervous whisper… Continue reading Penis Recognition Software Says Cheating Men’s Manhood SHRINKS

How to Host a Tantric Webinar With Windows 3.1

Windows 3.1 Shamrock Theme

VICTORIA DRUGGS:
Ordinarily, tantric events are held on Canadian ranches at a cost of $2,575 per head, and organised by permanently cross-legged, greying herbalists who drink, and forcibly serve, nettle tea. But what happens if you want the tantric ecstasy without having to empty your PayPal or drink the juice of poisonous leaves at swordpoint?

Well, why not try hosting your own tantric webinar, FOR FREE?! That’s right! You really can use ye wondrous Internet to connect with like-minded tantroids and fulfil your innermost desires. Let’s start at the beginning… Continue reading How to Host a Tantric Webinar With Windows 3.1