Hot King Lycra Promises Hottest Ever Performance!

Grant Greenstripe (Talent Agent):
Fans of the new sensation in the underbelly of the UK music scene can still get their hands on the last few precious tickets to see Hot King Lycra live tonight. Now tipped to be the biggest seller in popular music since Elvis and The Beatles, Hot King Lycra has said of tonight’s performance…

“You will never have seen anything like this before. In two momentous, game-changing hours, I am going to revolutionise the face of popular music. ”

Does that sound like something you’d want to miss?

Lecture: How To Find a Lost Train

by Jack Smart…
Private Investigator

“As you probably know, I am presenting a lecture tomorrow evening on the subject of how to find a lost train. At the behest of the Administrator of this blog, who is one of the organisers of the event, I have also agreed to take questions from a sole trader who has lost a shop.

Wedding Photographer Ruined My Life

by Katie Shox…
Consumer Feedback

“This is a message to anyone in the Midlands who is getting married in the near future and still hasn’t booked a photographer. Do not, under any circumstances, hire Richard Peahead.

Stop Scratching Your Balls In Restaurants

“The first half of 2014 has brought a rising number of complaints from women who have arranged a meet through dating site Meetaplex, and been confronted with a man who has scratched his gonads for varying lengths of time in the restaurant or pub.

The Design Consultant’s Computer

“The Twirpz Design Consultant has experienced a problem with his home computer. It is very much hoped that someone can help with some advice.

Essentially, the computer became a little sluggish so the Consultant used an app built by Rick Uncensored to restore the system to health.

Can I Have a Boyfriend With Bladder Control Please?

“The online dating business Meetaplex finds itself under the microscope once again, after further accusations from female members that the site has failed to address the issue of its male clients’ bladder control.

My Psychic is a LIAR!

by Pinkie…
Guest

“I have been dating a psychic through the dating site Meetaplex. He still, however, charges me for psychic readings – even if we are engaged in sexual intercourse at the time. I am not exactly happy about this, but he said that his employer – Psychix Direct – would fire his ass if he told my fortune for free. Fair enough. But what is not fair enough is that I’ve now discovered my psychic boyfriend is a LIAR! His name is Adrian Monkshank.